I often say that there are essentially two things in life that we seek: success and fulfilment.
Interestingly we are misled to believe that the first of these leads to the second – it does not – but we’ll come back to that.
Success:
Success depends on many factors, you, your environment, your mindset, your skills and abilities, your approach, your outlook, how much effort you are prepared or able to put into something, the people you are surrounded by and surround yourself with. It can depend on the economy, the climate, the weather, trends, the consciousness of others. It may depend on what you believe and have been led to believe. The list goes on. It does not matter whether we are talking about your career, your relationships, your business, your sport, your field of interest …anything.
Fulfilment:
Fulfilment on the the other hand depends upon nothing. It is simply dependent on you embracing yourself and life. The two come hand in hand. They are interlinked. Unhappiness really is a disconnect between you and life, a lack of appreciation for you or life – or both. Fulfilment comes the moment you stop fighting life and start embracing it. It is a deep contentment and appreciation for you, others and life itself. It has an enriching quality that tends to spark a deeper and richer level of growth and contribution.
Re-defining success:
In most cases of people that I meet and work with this means that we need to look again – afresh – at our notions of success and happiness. We start life without any notions of any of these things; they are words, ideas and concepts. Over time these notions shape our sense of self but they are not our self. We think our career, business, possessions, partners and others will make us whole. Certainly our notions of success are not ourself or our true self. An additional important factor is this: life changes, you may achieve success but you may not be able to bottle it, keep it, hang on to it. Who are you then? It is this that I refer to in my book ‘The Gift of Inner Success’ and pretty much all of my work.
Since we believe (wrongly) that success will lead us to fulfilment. Let us look at those who are ‘successful’ and whether they are ‘fulfilled’. Consider this deeply. Of those who you know who are successful who is fulfilled and what – if anything – is it that has fulfilled them or helped them arrive at that sense of fulfilment. I have coached people with plenty and people with next to nothing: success is not a path to fulfilment. If you take this path you will be waiting a lifetime for something that will briefly show up and then vanish again as you seek to aquire more and more. You will never be full or fulfilled.
True success and fulfilment
So let us take a different path; fulfilment first. My invitation to you is to stop seeking; right now, today. My invitation to you is to drop the illusion that you are not complete. It is only the belief that you are incomplete that keeps you from fulfilment. Run this by your mind and it will (because it is logical) recognise a deep truth that is so obvious and subtle it missed it’s scanner. Your mind will be more at ease and lighten. Run this by your heart. Your heart will warm and light up. The two will fall back into oneness again.
Suddenly as this happens you can consider ‘who am I?’ Who am I beneath all these ideas fed to me of who I should be. Perhaps even a need to seek out answers may fall away as a stiller energy is felt. At the same time now you can spot – and appreciate – where your skills, talents, abilities and interests are. What is it that you love? What is it that you can do and contribute. You will grow the the natural direction of what nourishes and attracts you from your core of your abilities and magic out toward your possibilities. This is the doorway to meaningful success.
Rasheed Ogunlaru is a leading life coach, speaker and business / corporate coach. He is a specialist in inner fulfilment and is author of Soul Trader – Putting The Heart Back into Your Business, The Gift of Inner Success – and the Become Who Your Are video coach yourself video and audio talk. www.rasaru.com
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