One of the things that should be the most natural to us – in fact the thing which should be most natural to us – is being ourself. And yet it’s being oneself; being true to who you are in all that you do, that is one of the areas that we seem to find most difficult.
As a coach I’m aware of this all the time. I meet many people who want to be more authentic in themselves, in their work, in how they relate to people, in their business, in relationships and in how they show up and present themselves in work, social, business and other situations.
In a way it’s no surprise that this is a huge challenge, after all from a very early age, we are told who we are, who we should behave and what it is that we should become. So straight away this creates a separation between you and yourself. Straight away their is a battling of who you are and a striving for who it is that you should be. There’s also a notion that that someone who you should be or could be is actually better for you and the world than the person that you actually are.
This causes conflict that can last a lifetime. There’s an inner conflict of feeling unhappy, not good enough, unworthy and all sorts of deeper challenges can emerge. The impact can spin into every area of life and there will be certain moments where this feeling inauthentic can become really pronounced: having to speak or present, going to an important meeting or interview, putting yourself forward for an interview, voicing your opinion, standing up for what’s important to you, really connecting to others in relationships -and even being honest with yourself.
So how do you begin this journey of being your self and discovering who you are. Well the first step is often just about recognising these conflicts. Another huge step is to embrace yourself as you are including all the doubts, fears and uncertainties. There’s something magical that happens when we do this.
Last week – just a ahead of my Soul Trader workshop at the British Library I met up with Tom Bruno Magdich. Tom is a former singer/actor and West End star who changed career to become a communications, presentation and personal impact trainer. Throughout his life Tom had an interest in communication and his work today has much to do with helping people find their authentic voice. I thought you might enjoy this interview which I recorded for my Soul Trader YouTube channel and www.soul-trader.biz which is launched in Jan 2015. To find out more about Tom visit his website 4DHuman Being.
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