Knowing who you are

As a coach I have worked with hundreds of people one to one as a coach. As a speaker I’ve addressed thousands more. What I constantly find is people waste a lifetime wrestling with an idea of who they are and who they feel that they should be.

I point out that if an item of clothing were too tight, baggy or cumbersome you’d soon discard it. But yet we lumber around with a nonsense sense of who we are.

These ideas that are  first given, then conditioned that you then take on and carry around – for a lifetime if you are not careful. Many waste a fortune trying to change or finetune this idea or come to terms with it rather than seeing it for what it is, letting it be as a story.

My life’s work is to invite people to wipe their eyes, dry their eyes and look within. Why spend a lifetime looking without for what resides within.

So back to that quote:

“You are not who you think you are. You are not who they want you to be. You are not merely your colour, class, gender – and so on – these are quite narrow things. You are not the ideas you are given and gather. You are not what you own or lay claim to. You are not even your life story – – for that changes through time, perspective, emphasis and many things. You are what resides before, between and beyond all these things.” – R. Ogunlaru

What is it that is before, beyond, between all these things. Even as you gently sit with this quote and this deeper question your mind will start to quieten. Just a few days ago I caught up with a friend who was wrestling with all these things; self doubt, self image, self confidence, worrying, perplexing, projecting, interpreting, analysing. In these instances – and many others silence is far more helpful, soothing, clarifying than any decipehring and over analysis – what’s the point in getting caught up in analysing if you are doing so with your same thinking?

Put the thinking outside – either step outside into the calm and quiet of nature or look deep inside yourself, be with yourself. Look to your heart, cherish who you are, be grateful for who it is that you are. Life is waiting for you.

If you look closely at all my work, all my talks, all my blog posts, all my books and audio talks, if you look at every promo video you’ll essentially see the same message of embracing yourself and life itself.  It is the first, last and only step.