- Posted by Rasheed Ogunlaru
- 0 Comments
- family, friendships, love, lovers, marriage, partnerships, relationships, romance, self acceptance.
When we think of relationships we often first think or romance, Valentine’s Day and finding that perfect match. The reality is that there’s much more to relationships than this. Here are 5 tips to help you move on up in love.
Step 1 Self Love: The first step to a rich, joyful and rewarding life is self-love. You will not be able to find lasting fulfilment in relationships, career or any aspect of your life until you accept yourself. Any beliefs that you hold that you’re unworthy, unlovable or incomplete are simply beliefs – stories you’ve been told and clung on to. The moment that you embrace, respect and appreciate yourself and life – and others will too. Self-love is the key to all love.
Step 2 Family Ties: Some families are tightly bonded. Some feel like a knot. Some may have no ‘family’. You did not select where / when you were born. You did not control who your parents and siblings were, nor their personalities. Acceptance of this is important if you’ve had strained relationships. If you have been fortunate about how these things have turned out then appreciation is in order. Either way the more you can allow yourself to be yourself and others to themselves – giving space and support in the measure that you are able – the richer, healthier and happier your family life will be.
Step 3 Genuine connections at work, socially and business: In the course of life we interact with people all the time at home, work, socially, passing-by the street. Some of those relationships are more significant than others e.g. mother-child boss and employee. Whatever the roles and titles the key to all relationships is a genuine interest in the other and their wellbeing. I often point out that it’s always wise to be warm to others for you may not know what’s just happened to them immediately before they arrived in the office, train platform or back home. Look beyond your own assumptions, assertions and ego. Connect beyond the label – connect at the heart not just the head – and you will find that all your relationships will become richer and healthier overnight.
In your working relationships be mindful of your values, goals, role and those of the individuals groups and organisations concerned. My 3 Golden Rules: always be 1) Personable 2) Professional 3) Deliver in words and deeds.
Step 4 Friendships: Friendships emerge and blossom through the (often natural) process above. They can take many forms. When any type of relationship is rich there will be an element of friendship in it. Companionship, co-operation, support, fun and creativity can bloom. Your friendships are likely to be among some of the most important, supportive and enduring relationships in your life. If you’ve forged good, organic, nourishing, mutually supportive friendships then pour this learning into all your other bonds.
Step 5 Partnerships / lovers: Partnership can emerge and blossom when you are mindful of all the other steps. It is a myth that you are incomplete until you find your ‘other half’. However it is possible that you can experience, grow and appreciate yourself powerfully through this special relationship where two can connect on all levels. If you are seeking that special relationship it will become available to you when you become available to yourself. My tip honour 3 things 1) yourself 2) your partner and 3) the relationship. Have the welfare of all three in mind at all times.
Remember: The old adage that some relationships are for a ‘reason’, ‘season’ or a ‘lesson’ is valuable to note in all relationships but may bring comfort in being mindful of with regard partners. Some relationships may last for most of a lifetime – may be short-lived. What’s really important is the richness, the kindness, the value, the self and mutual appreciation and encouraging all parties to grow and have warmly fulfilling lives